How to “Foster” True Self-Care
The goal of helping as a foster or adoptive parent is not to merely transform your children into good people, but the goal is to help so the children you are raising can fulfill their callings of glorifying God by working and supporting themselves and their families with the fruit of that work one day.
As a foster parent, it may be easy to see the children as those that are needy and serve them in that way. Being a foster parent can be hard and thankless work, but in the midst, it is helpful not to see them as only having needs.
Tips for fostering self-care for you as a parent:
1) Foster time for you.
Make sure you are taking care of yourself first and foremost. Prioritize sleep, being active and healthy, and time for rest. Take time for yourself mentally as well, whether that means finding a life coach or counselor for support. All of this combined will be beneficial in caring for yourself and will help you be the best form of yourself and parent you can be. It’s not a formula for perfection, but it can be a formula for caring well for yourself and fostering success.
2) Foster a supportive community.
Surround yourself with other people that have been where you have. Gain insight and turn that into action. Ask for help, get connected to a good church, surround yourself with a community that will guide and support you. Have coffee with other foster and adoptive parents and ask questions and be open and humble to learn.
3) Look for ways to foster your relationship with the Lord.
Take time to read His Word and pray and worship daily. Look for opportunities where you see Him at work in your own life. Implement daily habits where you can foster and grow in Him. Even if it’s just 5 seconds every morning reading a bit of scripture and journaling before you reach for your phone. Anything can be a gift and draw you towards Him.
4) Learn as you go.
Continue to educate yourself as a foster parent and in yourself. Look to others through the church, and even consider getting a mentor who has been where you have been. Meet with them or a friend for coffee weekly, and remind yourself that you will continue to learn and grow. The best learning you can give yourself is the hands-on experience you have throughout your time as a parent. Be humble and hungry to grow as a parent, and kind to yourself as you grow as an individual.
Being a foster parent is hard, but good. It’s messy, chaotic, and unpredictable, but it’s also redemptive, rewarding, and beautiful. Lean on the church and Jesus through it all. He won’t fail you.