5 Ways to Build Resilience
None of us are immune to stress, trauma, and adversity. Especially when we are caring for kids with a background of trauma. We will all face misfortunes and setbacks. Resilience means being able to adapt to life's misfortunes and setbacks. Bouncing back from these difficult experiences will grow your resilience and your personal development.
How can you support your and your family’s resilience?
Have concrete support - We all face difficult times no matter how supportive our family is. As a parent, allow your kids the space to be who they are and allow them to feel the way they need to. Take yourself outside of their experience and don’t guide the conversation. Simply ask thoughtful questions and listen. If you feel they need help outside of you then look to a professional.
Resilience in parents - As a parent, you are the ultimate example to your kids. If you walk like a duck they will learn to walk like a duck. When you’re having a hard time this is the perfect time to show how to model resilience. Share openly about what you are going through (as long as it is age appropriate) and be honest about your feelings, struggles, and challenges. Giving them insight into your world is the perfect way to show your children how they too can grow in resilience.
Competent relationships - Teach your kids how to have healthy relationships. Allow them to see your relationships. Teach them how to be good friends, communicate, learn to navigate disagreements, and have healthy emotions. Allowing them to see all of this within your life will be extremely beneficial.
Learn parental skills and child development - Being an educated parent is vital. Your skill set as a parent or caregiver will significantly influence how your child interacts and grows in our world. Learning and self-evaluating yourself as a parent will be highly beneficial as you rear your child through everything that the world has to offer and throw at them.
Community connections - As mentioned above, being involved in the community is extremely important. It’s important for your child to experience and important for you as a parent to model. Connecting to places like a local church is extremely helpful socially and emotionally. It gives a sense of belonging and can give you solid friendships that will impact you for the rest of your life. Nurturing your child towards healthy relationships and involvement in the community will be a gift to them into eternity.
These five factors will have a profound effect for a lifetime, but the thing to remember is you’re not alone on the journey. While you may not be able to control all of your circumstances, you can grow by focusing on the aspects of life’s challenges that you can manage with the support of loved ones and trusted professionals not only for your kids but for yourself as well. Surround yourself with others that may be on this same journey. Keep each other accountable and motivated as you take steps to become more resilient yourself and with your kids, and remember to stop for a minute and take a moment to reflect on where you started. Then look upward and onward!